This week has been a different one. I've been forced to adjust to being busy every night (Monday-Thursday) with school and church stuff. Maybe forced was a bad word to use ("responsible to attend" is a little bit better of a choice) anyways... it's not that i don't want to be involved in these things.. i have a lot of fun (except in the SAT prep class). I'm just not used to it, i guess. I'm so familiar with having a lot of time to do whatever i want before homework is started or devotions are done. Gosh college will hit me hard.
This week has been tiring, distracting, random, and selfish.
Devotions became a routine. Facebook became a disturbance. Homework became a burden.
Blah, blah, blah.
This always happens to me when there are a lot of wonderful things to look forward to, and I get so excited about them that i forget about focusing on what's most important.
The future has stolen my thoughts wayyyy too much.
Annoying & stessful things like driving, SAT/ACT, college, grades, & money have worried me.
Wonderful & exciting things like the friday night jive, missions trip, purdue visit, prom, & summer vacation have kept me anxious.
Everything in my head is everywhere right now.
The awesome dude who wrote Crazy Love shook me awake a little bit by saying,
"WORRY implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives."
I should probably write that on a post-it note and keep it in my locker or something because i get too wrapped up in STUPID "what ifs" and freak out that i'm going to die young or something.
Then with the great things that have been happening an Ecclesiastes verse came back to me.
"Fools base their thoughts on foolish assumptions, so their conclusions will be wicked madness; they chatter on and on. No one really knows what is going to happen; no one can predict the future" Ecc 10:13-14
HELLO, Erika, you've been screwing up all week.
So, prayers would be appreciated. I am focusing on feeling joyous/thanksful for God's blessings and calm about God's guidance/decisions about my future. At the same time I'm also trying not to be obsessive over worldly possessions and to spend more God time.
And what a coincidence that My Future Decided by Hillsong came on my playlist as i was typing that. Haha, God is clever.
Now i must go back to reading Crazy Love. I saw the quote about worry and immediately posted a blog. The chapter is yet to be finished. Let's see if the end of the chapter sparks another blog post.
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