And you can't point fingers

What do i want? It can't be love.
The liar tells me that 
Love at this age is fake
and delusional
and heart-breaking
and misleading
and a lie

I don't want to risk the possibility of becoming that "annoying, exclusive pair" with someone.
I don't want to risk giving into the temptations of going further.
I don't want to risk believing in something that is a 50/50 chance.
I don't want and do want so many things that i don't even know which way is mine.

And yet,
something keeps me going and keeps me pushing.
something keeps this alive. Whatever "this" is.

This is a mystery. I am confused. You should be confused.
"This" is confusing. "This" may not even be real. maybe it's all an allusion.

Whatever it is... i think i have finally figured "this" out.
"This" is me believing that love is possible. That it is able to be real and eternal.
"This" can be defined as hope that won't die. Hope that's holding on to the last possible strand.
The last strand that makes your hands bleed and knuckles sore.
"This" is not giving up. Every girl can say, "This" has become a school girl crush gone wrong.
It always seems like it does.
“Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge, or point fingers. 
You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you.”
-Audrey Hepburn.

But when you put it all into perspective.. in reality... "This" is faith. This = faith.
Everything you ever go through for someone or with someone with no strings attached, no promises made, and no idea what will happen... is FAITH! And faith is the "This" that is pressing me forward.


Because in reality love is beautiful. God puts love on a pedestal.
God heeds love's importance again and again.
You can do all things great and not love... and still burn in hell.
Just take a look at 1 Corinthians 13. Love is important.
Not just romantic love, but loving other humans. Loving everyone is the most important.
Love is vital. And never could i look at God... and look at all He's done.. and not believe in love.
I KNOW it's real.. and i want to experience it.

Usually i am a closed book, but now i must admit that
in other words, i want to fall in love. Just like every other girl.