What to Expect When You're Expecting

Well readers, we won't be discussing pacifiers, diapers, bibs, and cribs in this post. Sorry for any disappointment. And no, I am not expecting. Y'all were probably preparing yourself for some juicy gossip. Am I mean?


I was watching a Friends season 2 episode last week that convicted me a little bit. For those of you who don't watch Friends... I am a new fan and it's one of my favorite shows! Ross and Rachel are dating in this scene.. for those who don't know. 

Ross hands his baby son Ben to Rachel, and she's holding him like she's never held a baby before. And that is indeed the case. Rachel's lack of baby confidence sparked Ross to comment on how she will be better when it comes to their baby. Rachel, totally freaked out, asked Ross to continue sharing what he wants to happen in their future. He goes on to say that he wants them to have two kids and move to a different town that's far enough from their parents that they don't visit too much, but close enough so they have a babysitter. Then he made a comment on that town's school system, indicating that he has put a lot of thought into the future. 

Rachel was extremely overwhelmed by Ross's expectations, and I don't blame her. Pressure to live up to something that you may or may not be capable of is scary. I loved this episode because it made me stop and think about how many times I've had expectations. I've had expectations for relationships/people, careers, schools, you name it. But what good is it? 

Here is a passage in Acts 3 that talks a bit on the subject.

"Now a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, 'Look at us!' So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

"Then Peter said, 'Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.' Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God." V. 2-8

The lame man had expectations that only his human mind could create; however, God had something even bigger than the man could imagine. God had something for him that the world would declare impossible. That's one of many reasons why we need to keep our eyes on God. God won't sell us short. God won't disappoint us. 



Having healthy expectations of yourself is wise, in my opinion. The expectation to reach a certain goal (in reason) and the expectation to improve yourself are both healthy. For an example, I expect myself to complete my Bachelor's degree in Marketing. This isn't an unrealistic expectation; however, this is what I am working towards. I also expect myself to get my MBA afterward. These are both goals that I am setting myself up to achieve through hard work and faith in God to provide. However, expecting everything to work out by my plan is a form of control. Expecting people to treat me in certain ways is a form of control. Expecting God to answer my prayers exactly the way I imagine is a form of control too. Having expectations sets you up for wasted disappointment every single time. We can't allow ourselves to desire the control. 





I can take this example all the way to the American dream. Here's what I want: an amazing job that will make a lot of money, a beautiful home in the South, a godly husband who will make nice money, four children, a family ministry, and to publish books as part of a ministry. These are all dreams. Do you notice the money pattern I have here? Well, I will work hard for all of this; however, I can't just say that having this defines my happiness and that I will make all of these things happen. I can't even say that this is God's plan for my life. These are just dreams, and they may or may not become reality one day. I can not expect them to either. I have to work hard and be satisfied what the Lord has given me NOW. 

What to Expect When You're Not Hoping in God:

1. Selling your potential short... God's ways are better than our's.. 
sometimes our ways are way below what we deserve.

2. Disorganized priorities.. too much focus on our desires can
 cause  us to put important responsibilities aside.

3. Loss of focus on God's will... we would be focusing on ourselves 
instead of God's path for us.

4. Impatience.. we would be unsatisfied with what we have and

ready to receive what we think we are ready for.

5. Low self-worth.. when we don't get what we think we deserve,

we start to believe lies that we aren't good enough. Funny..

God has something better because he knows our worth.

6. No direction.. we depend on ourselves or others.. we don't

lean on our Savior. We don't grow or work to honor the Lord.

7. Fear... all of the sudden we forget that our Savior is protecting us
step-by-step.. we put hope in ourselves instead.

I usually know that I am off track when I forget to ask God to align my will with His will for me. What are the clues? I am even slightly convinced that my way is right. I view anything other than my way as impossible or unpleasant. The thought of the future burns me out. 

I need to constantly work to honor the Lord in my days, not myself. When I am focused on Him, I am reminded of His Sovereignty and ability. I don't worry about being unhappy in the future nor am I unhappy in the present. I don't fear the future nor do i waste my days away with unrealistic expectations.  Don't get me wrong: dreaming isn't bad. But how much time do you spend dreaming instead of doing? It is a beautiful thing when you work for your dreams, and God provides them in your life. I believe that there a lot of dreams that God plants in our hearts in order for Him to WOW us when He lets them come to pass. But, how much of that dream inches up to God's spot on the throne? What If I chose making a lot of money over honoring God? That's a problem. When we choose to honor God, He aligns our desires with His plans for us. Our dreams come true, and our old dreams are nothing compared to the reality.

"For when dreams increase and words grow many, there is vanity; 

but God is the one you must fear." 

Ecclesiastes 5:7

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 

neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD."

 Isaiah 55:8

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, 

but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life."

Proverbs 13:12