A Ragamuffin State of Mind

As a writer, sometimes inspiration comes out of unexpected, deep thought. I have a small-sized Five Star notebook in my purse and a pink note-pad in my book bag for head-exploding moments. I admit that there are times that I pretend to take notes in class when I'm really writing out my thoughts. I can't help it. Below are the results of not listening to the summary of 1 & 2 Samuel in my Old Testament class.

I wonder why so many of us feel that we need to present ourselves in a way that gives an aura of perfection. It certainly isn't a true representation of ourselves as we are people who are truly imperfect.

Perfect hair, perfect make-up, perfect closet, perfect grades, perfect influence, perfect love life, perfect belongings, perfect dorm/apartment, perfect car, perfect body, perfect social media image, perfect performances, perfectly balanced schedule....everything has to look put together. Isn't that tiring? And oh, so untrue might I add..

This unnecessary work to be put together is a survival tactic to "get by" in society. A yearning for acceptance will not fill a void in our hearts.

   

I see a lot of Christian girls (including myself) striving to be this particular image of a "good girl". Like the images above, we like to portray ourselves as beautiful, organized, independent, and godly.

But just because we portray ourselves in these ways... does that really mean that we truly have these characteristics?

You may feel like this girl after you attend a Christian conference, purchase a new Beth Moore book, drive to work with your Hillsong CD playing, get up extra early to do your devotions; or perhaps, when you post a photo of a sunset on Instagram and caption it with something about God's beauty amazing you.

Check, check...

But do you feel like this specific woman after you do wrong? When you're convicted of your sin? Face it: This image is a human standard of perfection that we can never fully meet, not a Christian ideal. The reality is that we are not this girl because "she" portrays herself in a sinless manner, and being sinless is impossible for man. Therefore, her portrayal is a lie. Do we really want to live a lie?

It's not wrong to work hard to present ourselves in the best ways that we can. It's not wrong to care about what we wear, work out six days a week, and to never leave the house without make-up on... But is image our priority?

It's not wrong to work hard for good grades or a job promotion or to always give our best at what we do. But is success our priority?

What is your priority? Where does your joy come from?  Is it from what you do and the reputation that comes with it? Is it from who you're with and the way you're built up from others? OR does your joy come from what God does in your life?

I am learning that we should feel MOST complete as Christian women when we are in the midst of God's grace. Not when we are doing things "right", but when GOD is reminding us of His mercy and His ability even through our messy days.

We won't become women of God if we are trying to be women of God. We become women of God by following Christ and allowing Him to shape our hearts and form our character.

"I know, O Lord, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps. Correct me, O Lord, but in justice; not in your anger, lest you bring me to nothing." 

Jeremiah 10:23-24 

It's not important that we have everything together or even that we feel like we have everything together. What really matters is that we are keeping our eyes on the One who saves us. When we focus on Him, we are TRULY beautiful.

My friend Kat and I were having a talk last summer and she said something like this:

"We really need more ragamuffin Christians." 

She's right.

What she doesn't mean is that we need Christians living in sin and having zero integrity. She means that we need Christians who don't make perfection their goal or prance about like they haven't sinned in a while.

I think that when we make our personal image our biggest priority, we fool ourselves and strain ourselves spiritually.

But when we let God change us and begin work in us, we develop an honorable personal image created by Him. Not sloppily faked by us.

What does it mean to have good character and a strong personal representation of self? Let's look to scripture for the answer...

"Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching" 1 Timothy 4:12-13

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21

"And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them." Luke 6:31

"For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love" 2 Peter 1:5-7

For the Ladies: Breaking the Cycle

I wrote this blog post over a month ago, and it has been saved to my post drafts. I'm hesitant to post this because I feel obligated to guard myself and other women that I dearly want protected. But I also want this notion publicized so other ladies can see how they work.

I firmly believe that God designed women to desire... to be desired! This idea was first introduced to me in a book called Captivating... a book so many of us love because of the honesty that most of us could never put into words before reading. As I view myself, and as I have had unfiltered and honest conversations with my closest friends, this idea that women want to be desired is very evident.

With that being said, I've realized that it's not very difficult for a woman to fall in love. I don't know how men work to a T, but it's not hard for women to fall hard at all. I don't like this notion out in the public eye because the wrong guys are going to think that this is how they can get in. Please, no pun intended :)

But seriously. Picture this: you meet an attractive guy, you both get along well, you guys click, and you have the same beliefs and opinions on important topics.... obviously a woman like yourself will start to fall in love with him if he expresses interest in you... and sometimes.. maybe a woman will regardless.

This is very dangerous. But it's also why I believe that a woman needs to be extremely guarded and very difficult to pursue. I think that if a woman is fond of a guy for the most part, as soon as he wants to be with her, she will be eager to get the ball rolling and fulfill her God-given desire. When this happens, she is letting her guard down and could be hurting herself if he's the wrong guy. ALSO, I know a lot of you may be reading over the wrong guy part.... but remember that even if you are convinced that he is the right guy... never underestimate the fact that you are a human who is very capable of having poor judgment.

"Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer,

    not to awaken love until the time is right." 
Solomon 2:7

Call me traditional, but if you examine life before dating, you see a lot of interesting ways to filter out the wrong man. You see the dowries, the arranged marriages, the higher expectations of respect, courting, and parental involvement. I'm not saying that I agree with any of those old social standards. However, these were all done to protect couples.

So what is there now? I don't see much. I see a lot of carelessness and instant gratification. And then, I see hurt.


In The Great Gatsby, I couldn't help but wince at Daisy's famous quote about her daughter. I'm sure that regardless if you've read the book or seen the movie, you've heard of this quote.

 "I hope she'll be a fool. That's the best thing that a girl can be in this world; a beautiful, little fool". 

That's very deep and creative writing on Fitzgerald's part. I can totally understand the hurt in Daisy's heart over Mr. Buchanan's choices and all of the pressure she experienced with her mother on her engagement. Having to believe that the right man for her was forever wrong because he couldn't provide at the time. BUT, wouldn't it be more wise to wish that you were beautiful and strong? Beautiful and wise?

Daisy didn't wish for wisdom because she saw no way to be preventative. That is how deep her hurt went. There was hopelessness in Daisy's heart, and she was so broken down that she was giving up on any possibility of a right man. And at times, I don't blame her. But I'd personally rather be one step ahead than oblivious and living in falsehood.

So how do we filter out the wrong guys? How do we be careful not to settle? How do we protect ourselves from desiring what may be wrong?

1. Know what you want in your man. If dating around a little bit is what it takes to find out, do so. Also, make it clear that you aren't dating for anything serious, but for fun. :) If things turn serious because you've found him, it's not your call to make it that way. He needs to have that conversation with you. You do not lift a finger. He pursues you.

2. Don't pursue. Be pursued. Be honest with yourself.. would you feel more satisfied if you pursued a man and ended up together or if he pursued you and you ended up together? Uh huh.

3. Realize that if a man won't work hard to be with you, you probably don't mean very much to him. Sometimes men aren't ready for relationships. When their minds are completely ready and they feel that they are capable of their role as a beau or husband, they will fight for you. Don't force a man to fight for you and definitely don't help him fight for you.

4. Be patient. Wait for something that you know is worth your time. Culture today says to RUSH everything in order to reach happiness as soon as possible. However, when relationships are rushed, we may compromise our beliefs as we don't have time to slow down, process everything, and guard ourselves. People seem to believe that marriage/love equals ultimate happiness and freedom, which is why they tend to rush relationships. In reality, being impatient and then hurting yourself because of it will take a long time too!

5. Know that you don't need a man. I would say that most women want a man, but once you realize that you don't need one, you don't feel as urgent to find him. He does not complete you. If he is right, he will add to you. He will never take from you if you are confident in yourself.

6. Know yourself. When a woman doesn't know herself she will be flimsy and easily persuaded. She needs to have an understanding of herself and how God made her. She needs to know her dreams and passions. She needs to know what she wants and what's important to her.

7. Have realistic expectations. I almost said, "don't have expectations!", but I don't want women to lose sight of what they deserve. However, you need to expect a man to treat you right and be respectful. Don't go into a possible relationship expecting a man to meet everything on your list. But also, don't settle for him if he doesn't meet enough!

8. Know your Savior. As Christians it is easy to stand still and allow our quiet time to become a routine; however, we need to keep ourselves in check. As well as everything else we go through, we need to have a solid walk with the Lord. We need to allow Him to guide us through our relationships. The Holy Spirit will be working in you and giving you discernment throughout your life and relationship if you are asking him for such direction.

"Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."

Proverbs 4:23

For the Sake of Decency

When we were younger, my Mom would get on my sisters and me about sending our Grandmas thank you notes for our gifts. To a ten year old, writing a thank you card looks like a heavy task, but I got in plenty of practice with neighbors and relatives over the years. 

Top Southerners to Follow on Pinterest

Maybe this is just my weird obsession, but I literally hunt down Southerners on Pinterest. Why?

Issues w/ The Feminist Movement

Last week on twitter the trending hash tag was "Tell a feminist thank you"...

As a woman who is very against the feminist movement, scrolling through the tweets with this hash tag was very disheartening.

there were tweets like,

Though through anger I could post a million reasons why The Feminist Movement does harm, and does not help women; however, instead I think a wiser source can clear some misconceptions of female roles. Check out this awesome article below!

God's High Call For Women

Anti-Wrinkle Cream.. Start ASAP

I never considered that it would be wise to start using retinoids while I'm young until recently. I look at women in their 30s-40s who loved the sun too much, and they do not consider using anti-wrinkle cream until they actually have wrinkles. Well, not me. I would rather not look like a tragedy when I'm 45... while i'll already be sad about weighing more than I did at 25, I do not want to be sad about my face too.

I bought Ponds a couple of weeks ago. Apparently, some celebrities use this brand, so I figure until I get a wrinkle I will try it out too! Pond's cream has been around since the 1800s!

PONDS Celebrity Review #1
PONDS Celebrity Review #2